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Quick / Short joke thread 

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#91 SuGEE_DrFFtR

  • Joined:29-June 08
  • Location:Australia VIC
  • Car:XD Fairmont

Posted 21 December 2008 - 10:13 AM

michael jackson got lost at sea the other day but they found him bobbing up and down on a bouy...

Q: whats the difference between tasmanians and richmond footy club?
A: tasmanians hav already been f**ked by cousins

XD

#92 Damit

  • Joined:24-June 08
  • Location:Australia QLD
  • Car:R33 & RB25 180SX

Posted 24 December 2008 - 02:10 PM

AS A WOMAN PASSED HER DAUGHTER'S CLOSED BEDROOM

DOOR, SHE HEARD A STRANGE BUZZING NOISE COMING FROM
WITHIN. OPENING THE DOOR, SHE OBSERVED HER DAUGHTER WITH A VIBRATOR.

SHOCKED, SHE ASKED: 'WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?'

THE DAUGHTER REPLIED: 'MOM, I'M THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OLD, UNMARRIED, AND THIS THING
IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS I'LL EVER GET TO A HUSBAND. PLEASE, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME
ALONE.'

THE NEXT DAY, THE GIRL'S FATHER HEARD THE SAME BUZZ COMING FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR.

UPON ENTERING THE ROOM, HE OBSERVED HIS DAUGHTER MAKING
PASSIONATE LOVE TO HER VIBRATOR.

TO HIS QUERY AS TO WHAT SHE WAS DOING, THE DAUGHTER SAID: 'DAD I'M
THIRTY-FIVE, UNMARRIED, AND THIS THING IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS I'LL EVER GET TO A
HUSBAND. PLEASE, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE.'

A COUPLE DAYS LATER, THE WIFE CAME HOME FROM A SHOPPING TRIP, PLACED THE GROCERIES ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER, AND HEARD THAT BUZZING NOISE COMING FROM, OF ALL PLACES, THE LIVING ROOM. SHE ENTERED THAT AREA ND OBSERVED HER HUSBAND SITTING ON THE COUCH, DOWNING A COLD BEER, AND STARING
AT THE TV. THE VIBRATOR WAS NEXT TO HIM ON THE COUCH, BUZZING LIKE CRAZY.

THE WIFE ASKED: 'WHAT THE *@!* ARE YOU DOING?'

THE HUSBAND REPLIED: 'I'M WATCHING FOOTBALL WITH MY SON-IN-LAW.'

#93 Damit

  • Joined:24-June 08
  • Location:Australia QLD
  • Car:R33 & RB25 180SX

Posted 24 December 2008 - 02:15 PM

WHERE WE COME FROM

A little girl asked her father: 'How did the human race appear?'
The father answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; they
had children; and so was all mankind made.'

Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question.
The mother answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys
from which the human race evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her father and said, 'Dad,
how is it possible that you told me the human race was
created by God, and Mom said they developed from monkeys?'

The father answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple.
I told you about my side of the family, and your mother
told you about hers.'

#94 timbo82

  • Joined:30-August 08
  • Location:Australia QLD
  • Car:Peugeot 206 GTi Rallye

Posted 09 January 2009 - 05:12 PM

WARNING, QUITE LOW BROW AND RACIST, POSSIBLY BAD HUMOR TOO



An aboriginal woman is getting married the next day, it is an arranged marriage and the woman is virgin.

The night before the wedding, the girl asks 'What is going to happen on my wedding night mum?'

The mother answers 'Well you husband is going to put his most prized possession in to the place that you pee.'

So the daughter responds 'What, he's gonna put his thongs in the sink :huh: '

#95 --Steve

  • Joined:14-April 08
  • Location:Australia SA
  • Car:Maxima

Posted 09 January 2009 - 08:34 PM

View Posttimbo82, on Jan 9 2009, 06:25 PM, said:

WARNING, QUITE LOW BROW AND RACIST, POSSIBLY BAD HUMOR TOO



An aboriginal woman is getting married the next day, it is an arranged marriage and the woman is virgin.

The night before the wedding, the girl asks 'What is going to happen on my wedding night mum?'

The mother answers 'Well you husband is going to put his most prized possession in to the place that you pee.'

So the daughter responds 'What, he's gonna put his thongs in the sink :huh: '


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

#96 --Steve

  • Joined:14-April 08
  • Location:Australia SA
  • Car:Maxima

Posted 09 January 2009 - 08:37 PM

three gay men are sitting in a bathtub, and suddenly they see some sperm floating on the water.

one of the guys goes:

"who farted?"

#97 SoulHaylo

  • Joined:09-March 08
  • Location:Australia QLD
  • Car:1993 s13

Posted 24 January 2009 - 07:29 AM

An elephant asks a camel "Why do you have boobs on your back?"

Camel replies "oh.. that's an interesting question coming from someone with a dick on his face"

#98 pinned

  • Joined:04-February 07
  • Location:Australia SA
  • Car:S2 Stagea

Posted 04 February 2009 - 07:12 PM

RACIST JOKE


An abo was hit by a truck and killed out the front of my house.
I thought "shit that could have been me"
but i cant drive a truck.

#99 mz_S15

  • Joined:11-October 06
  • Location:Australia NSW
  • Car:JDM S15 Spec R

Posted 16 February 2009 - 07:27 PM

View Postpinned, on Feb 4 2009, 08:55 PM, said:

RACIST JOKE


An abo was hit by a truck and killed out the front of my house.
I thought "shit that could have been me"
but i cant drive a truck.

I'm not racist.. but I lol'ed :lol:

#100 Ryziee

  • Joined:13-March 08
  • Location:Australia VIC
  • Car:s13 Silvia 1992

Posted 17 February 2009 - 12:46 AM

whats the different between a blonde and a shower?


a shower has to be turned on before its wet

#101 timbo82

  • Joined:30-August 08
  • Location:Australia QLD
  • Car:Peugeot 206 GTi Rallye

Posted 18 February 2009 - 01:04 PM

View PostRyziee, on Feb 17 2009, 01:29 AM, said:

whats the different between a blonde and a shower?


a shower has to be turned on before its wet
:quagmire:

#102 calvz32

  • Joined:16-August 08
  • Location:Australia VIC
  • Car:r32 skizza

Posted 25 February 2009 - 08:07 PM

what does a playstation and michael jackson have in common?
they are both made of plastic and kids turn them on.

#103 mz_S15

  • Joined:11-October 06
  • Location:Australia NSW
  • Car:JDM S15 Spec R

Posted 27 February 2009 - 01:33 PM

View PostRyziee, on Feb 17 2009, 02:29 AM, said:

whats the different between a blonde and a shower?


a shower has to be turned on before its wet

BA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA :lol:

#104 brendan.dunell

  • Joined:19-April 08
  • Location:Australia WA
  • Car:Stagea

Posted 08 March 2009 - 03:08 PM

View Postmz_S15, on Feb 16 2009, 07:10 PM, said:

View Postpinned, on Feb 4 2009, 08:55 PM, said:

RACIST JOKE


An abo was hit by a truck and killed out the front of my house.
I thought "shit that could have been me"
but i cant drive a truck.

I'm not racist.. but I lol'ed :lol:


HAHAHA.
What's 3 things you can't give an abo.
1 - a fat lip
2 - a black eye
3 - a job

again, not a racist, but i had a giggle

#105 elmrc13b

  • Joined:22-October 07

Posted 16 March 2009 - 10:25 PM

Guy says to his wife:
"What would you do if I won the lottery?"
Wife Replies:
"I'd take half and leave you!"
Guy says:
"Excellent! I had 3 & a supů.. won 10 bucks, here's 5, now f*ck off"

#106 kaosgenki

  • Joined:08-December 08
  • Location:Australia QLD
  • Car:92 Nissan Silvia S13 SR20DET

Posted 23 March 2009 - 03:36 AM

A woman enters the bar, orders 2 scotches, skolls one, then pours the other over her crotch.
Orders another two, skolls one, pours the rest on her crotch.
After a third round, the intrigued barman asks what the idea is with her behaviour.

She replies, "I just won the lottery, and this is the only c..t I am sharing it with".

I know its old...


Michael Jackson turned to George Michael the other day.

"Swap ya a tenner for two fives"



Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

Ones white, made of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with,
The other carries your shopping.


Sorry about the lameness...

#107 booostin

  • Joined:01-June 06
  • Location:Australia QLD

Posted 26 March 2009 - 03:14 PM

^^Can never get sick of MJ jokes

#108 FILO180

  • Joined:24-April 05
  • Location:Australia QLD
  • Car:94' 180sx

Posted 01 April 2009 - 08:27 PM

one I stumbled across, kinda bad though.

A serial killer kidnaps a little girl and brings her into some deep, dark woods.

The little girl says "Gee, it's dark and creepy here, I'm scared".

The killer replies "You're scared? Imagine how I feel, I gotta walk back to the car alone."

:ph34r:

#109 kaosgenki

  • Joined:08-December 08
  • Location:Australia QLD
  • Car:92 Nissan Silvia S13 SR20DET

Posted 20 April 2009 - 03:16 PM

View Postbooostin, on Mar 26 2009, 03:57 PM, said:

^^Can never get sick of MJ jokes

ok then,


Did you hear what they are going to do when MJ passes on?

Melt him down to make Coke Bottles

#110 DVS JEZ

  • Joined:28-October 07
  • Location:Australia NSW
  • Car:R32 GTR

Posted 21 April 2009 - 08:35 PM

As they nailed Jesus to the cross he looked down and said.

DONT TOUCH MY f**kING EASTER EGGS ILL BE BACK ON MONDAY!

#111 DVS JEZ

  • Joined:28-October 07
  • Location:Australia NSW
  • Car:R32 GTR

Posted 21 April 2009 - 08:37 PM

little girl is in the garden with her daddy when she asked 'daddy is that a mummy longlegs under that daddy longlegs' dad replied ' no sweetie theres no mummy longlegs'

so she stomped on them saying 'we'll have none of that f**king gay shit in our garden!'

#112 Dori31

  • Joined:07-April 09
  • Location:Australia VIC
  • Car:R31, R31, R33

Posted 28 April 2009 - 08:35 PM

no racist intention^_^

"what do you get at a lebbo garage sale?"
"all your stuff back..."

Edited by iDRIFT, 07 May 2009 - 09:27 PM.


#113 GWIZ_S14

  • Joined:05-November 07
  • Location:Australia VIC

Posted 07 May 2009 - 12:13 PM

Some classics in there! nice one guys.

#114 omg_its_trent

  • Joined:01-December 07
  • Location:Australia VIC
  • Car:R33 4door

Posted 15 May 2009 - 03:11 AM

it was my gf's birthday today......and last night i asked her 'what do you want for your birthday' she said 'something that goes from 0 to 100 in 5 seconds flat' so i went out and got her a set of scales

#115 salih_h

  • Joined:28-December 08
  • Car:180sx

Posted 15 May 2009 - 02:47 PM

View Postomg_its_trent, on May 15 2009, 03:54 AM, said:

it was my gf's birthday today......and last night i asked her 'what do you want for your birthday' she said 'something that goes from 0 to 100 in 5 seconds flat' so i went out and got her a set of scales


lol dead man walkin.

#116 Maniac Mazda

  • Joined:07-October 08
  • Location:Australia ACT
  • Car:Ford EF Wagon

Posted 21 May 2009 - 02:05 PM

Bad taste joke

Michael jackson, a pilot and 10 kids are in a plane. the plane has engine trouble and they have bail out. but there is only 2 paracutes. "What about the kids?" michael asks. "Screw them" says the pilot. "Will we have time?" Michael asks.

#117 kmakaz

  • Joined:09-January 05
  • Location:Australia VIC
  • Car:S13 silvia, a 2000 verada and a 2007 GOLf TDI with FSG (flappy paddle shit), Suzuki Bandit GSXR

Posted 11 June 2009 - 11:51 AM

View PostSuGEE_DrFFtR, on Nov 29 2008, 03:22 AM, said:

ok hope no one minds the racist jokes but u gotta admit they make u laugh :P


a guy is driving his truck up the birdsville track and a carload of aboriginals comes the other way with no lights on.

he hits them and stops his truck to investigate.

after deciding they r dead he makes a big hole and buries them in it.

when he gets to birdsville he is feeling a little guilty, so he goes to the cop shop and tells the police officer.

the police officer asks "are you sure they were all dead?"

the guy replies "well some said they weren't but u kno what lying b***ards they r"


makes me lol anyways hehe

edit:

Q: what happens when an asian runs into a wall with a boner?
A: he breaks his nose

lol soz any asians but its funny :D


View Post_N2o_, on Dec 10 2008, 07:24 AM, said:

when your running you most likley have your feet crash the wall, not your boner cause your not doing a forward slide


View PostScuba-Steve, on Dec 10 2008, 07:47 AM, said:

who cares mate :P

Posted Image






chances are N20 is asian :lol:

#118 Nissman

  • Joined:27-March 08
  • Location:Australia SA
  • Car:Zenki S14

Posted 07 July 2009 - 09:31 PM

Michael Jackson's family are still undecided on what they will do with the body... bury it, cremate it or recycle it

















too soon? :blush:

#119 GHOSTY

  • Joined:14-September 05
  • Location:Australia QLD
  • Car:'02 S15

Posted 19 July 2009 - 09:03 AM

http://www.boostcruising.com/forums/index....howtopic=440807

#120 shiz

  • Joined:16-April 08
  • Location:Australia QLD
  • Car:a broken rolla

Posted 19 July 2009 - 01:22 PM

View PostGHOSTrun, on Jul 19 2009, 09:46 AM, said:


beeraddd was 10x funnier than the OP. Theres no way someone can be that retarded so i'll just lol at boost being trolled by him haha





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