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chris_c30

shit apprentices say/do

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stolen from a facebook page but i thought this may be funny since im sure allot of the members here are in some sort of trade and were apprentices once to and we all know apprentices say and do some pretty funny shit sometimes so post it here

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the good old send em to the local repco for a can of compression trick.

 

always good for the lols

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had one apprentice that ducked under a flap (on aircraft wing) to get a tool then 30secs later smashed head first into the trailing edge got up like nothing happened just got a small cut on his nose and laughed at

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had one apprentice that ducked under a flap (on aircraft wing) to get a tool then 30secs later smashed head first into the trailing edge got up like nothing happened just got a small cut on his nose and laughed at

ive done that on excavators after laying under them so many times

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also i confussed one by asking him if hed checked the tyre pressure on the service hed jst done on the bobcat with solids on it

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the good old send em to the local repco for a can of compression trick.

 

always good for the lols

that's a good one. us panel beaters tell them to go to the office and ask for a long wait or when walking out of work on say a wednesday, tell them you will see them thursday and watch how long it takes them to crack on.

 

had one young guy told to clean the BBQ, so he pulls out reducer and prepsol and planned on cleaning it while the burners were on.

Edited by Barbie princess

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Had my employer put on a heap of adult apprentices, most over 40.

40 year olds don't like to listen to someone one their mid twenties.

Had one guy tighten up a v band clamp so tight it snapped all the spot welds holding the clamp together and destroyed the titanium ducting he was clamping up.

Fkn old Kent, go back to your shitty diesel's

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When i was a butcher (also manager) for woolworths, we used to put the apprentice's knives in a bucket of blood/guts, and then leave it in the freezer over night.... Poor prick would have to sit there most mornings chipping away at it untill it would fit in the sink :)

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Told apprentice to check water and oil on a diesel gen set, done it no probs so told him to check the sparkplugs, came back 10 min later saying he cant find them.....

Sorry forgot to mention he is a boilermaker apprentice so that probably has something to do with it.

Edited by S15 sxytime

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boiler makers normally think there pretty good so its fun to give them shit haha one apprentice told me there was diesel spark plugs in all diesel motors

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slack kents lol...... i would just play along with it and go to the pub for the rest of the arvo

Edited by 180sxnit

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boiler makers normally think there pretty good so its fun to give them shit

i cut of stainless filler wire and put it in a tradesmen tig torch

he couldnt work out what was wrong he thought it was the welder

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i had one bloke ask me seriously if there was such a product as elbow grease and if so where could he get some....

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Done the long wait one plenty of times!

 

Worked with a fully qualified electrician that put on insulated rubber gloves when disconnecting his car battery, the gloves are made for live 240v work. I went over and grabbed both terminals at the same time with my bare hands infront of him hahaha

 

Funny when you pass the first years a ratchet on their second day and say undo that bolt and they look at you like how the f**k do i do that with this thing lol

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The other day the 1st year and 4th year apprentices were getting a car ready for me to spray in the booth then the 1st year comes out and tells me the air line in the booth does'nt have any air coming out of it,and that they have checked everything and the gauge on the wall sez the booth has full pressure and cant figure it out,so i walk in to check it out and they have parked the car on the air line......i knew they were f**king morons but this was too much.

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A mate of mine was told to go get a long weight so he walked around the hanger for a while, came back after about half an hour then got abused turns out on a 737 there is something called a long weight :hypo:

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I was on the tail end of one of these..

 

When I was a budding youngster in the Navy I was asked to get the 'striped paint' played along.. went to the stores and went through all the paint tins till I found one with the paint that had cured on top and formed a skin, grabbed another fresh tin and used that to paint strips onto the skin of the other paint..

 

I won.

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A mate of mine was told to go get a long weight so he walked around the hanger for a while, came back after about half an hour then got abused turns out on a 737 there is something called a long weight :hypo:

Hmmm I did my apprenticeship on 737's and a few years as a tradesman and I never came across a long weight...

I will investigate this.

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My mate was telling me about this apprentice he has. He reckons everyday without fail before work starts he will have a glass of Milo then take a shit and then have another glass of Milo. Everyday without fail!! Keep in mind he is mid 20's and still drinks milo LOL. Im told he smashes the billies too during lunch hah

 

My mate reckons all the tradies call him "Milo Shit Milo"

 

 

I pissed myself laughing so i'd thought id share :)

Edited by MeRlz

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In trade school we had a real simple kid in our group. Anyway, we told him to ask the lecturer for a Glass hammer. He came back telling us how it doesn't exist. Not even 5 minutes later we had convinced him to ask our lecturer where he could find the elbow grease

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Done the long wait one plenty of times!

 

Worked with a fully qualified electrician that put on insulated rubber gloves when disconnecting his car battery, the gloves are made for live 240v work. I went over and grabbed both terminals at the same time with my bare hands infront of him hahaha

 

Funny when you pass the first years a ratchet on their second day and say undo that bolt and they look at you like how the f**k do i do that with this thing lol

Short circuit the battery with something conductive the fault current can be enough to cook you, there's a few hundred amps there. Dispite the average joe that believes you can't die from DC electricity.

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Wow were do i start, apprentices are so dumb, they always fall for the following:

 

-get me a left handed screwdriver

-long wait at spare parts

-checkered paint

-sky hooks

 

and my personal favorite is telling them to ask everyone because i need a 8 inch mating tool..... so they go around to all the tradesmen, "nah mate mines only 6 inches" next guy, "sorry mines only 5 inches buddy" :lol:

 

Im a forklift mechanic, and we have reach trucks (made for indoor warehousing) that sometimes have really really tall sticks. On the big ones, that can lift over 10 meters, some deluxe models have a tilting cabin, so when you go up the cab tilts back about 45 degrees to assist the driver so he doesn't strain his neck etc.

 

Every single first year without fail, get them in the truck, ok mate i need to check something, hammer the hydraulics, lift to full height. I also unplug the second stage magnet. so instead of slowing down when the mast comes out of free lift, it just hammers the stops and makes a god awful noise, at the same time this is when the cabin starts to tilt. So when the forks go into the second stage of the mast, the cab tilts back and hammers the stop blocks, they think the forklift is tipping over, I swear these kids would win Olympic gold medals for long jump the way they jump out and fall on the ground/roll away :D :D :D

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Done the long wait one plenty of times!

 

Worked with a fully qualified electrician that put on insulated rubber gloves when disconnecting his car battery, the gloves are made for live 240v work. I went over and grabbed both terminals at the same time with my bare hands infront of him hahaha

 

Funny when you pass the first years a ratchet on their second day and say undo that bolt and they look at you like how the f**k do i do that with this thing lol

Short circuit the battery with something conductive the fault current can be enough to cook you, there's a few hundred amps there. Dispite the average joe that believes you can't die from DC electricity.

 

How exactly can a 12v battery "cook you"?

 

DC is way more dangerous than AC, had apprentice dead short a 240V battery bank! lucky the 4mm wire he was holding disintergrated instanly, got a bad burn on his had though.

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By cook I meant kill. Not turn you to a piece of charcoal. My bad on that one. HV is the real scary shit, jumps out to get you. Anyway back on topic..

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By cook I meant kill. Not turn you to a piece of charcoal. My bad on that one. HV is the real scary shit, jumps out to get you. Anyway back on topic..

Have you ever personally witnessed a person die from 12v electricity?

 

What good is a tonne of amps if they don't have enough volts to travel through your body?

You do realise that in order to kill you the electricity has to reach your heart or brain right?

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and my personal favorite is telling them to ask everyone because i need a 8 inch mating tool..... so they go around to all the tradesmen, "nah mate mines only 6 inches" next guy, "sorry mines only 5 inches buddy" :lol:

 

I remember hearing a story, can't quite remember where from, but somebody from this fab shop told an employee to go to this other shop to collect a mating or a re-populating tool. The guy who sent the other guy called the shop ahead of time and told them. Apparently the employee returned with a machined penis.

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By cook I meant kill. Not turn you to a piece of charcoal. My bad on that one. HV is the real scary shit, jumps out to get you. Anyway back on topic..

Have you ever personally witnessed a person die from 12v electricity?

 

What good is a tonne of amps if they don't have enough volts to travel through your body?

You do realise that in order to kill you the electricity has to reach your heart or brain right?

No not personally, but deaths have been documented. Skin conductivity is the key. Go try shorting it on a nice hot/humid day when youre sweating alot.

 

Not saying its by any means common, but possible under the right circumstances, yes.

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But the current would just conduct over your skin and not pass over your chest..

 

Sorry mate but I don't believe you..

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